Passion for Beans

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a maddening passion for baked beans. He loved then. but he always had a very embarassing and somewhat lively reaction to them. Then, one day, he met a girl and fell in love with her. When it was apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, she is a sweet and gentle girl and will never go for this kind of carrying on. So, he made the supreme sacrafice and gave up the beans.


The were married thereafter. Some months later, his car broke down on the way home from work and since they lived in the country, he called her and told her that he would be late getting home because he had to walk. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the odor of freshly baked beans was overwhelming. Since he still had several miles to walk, he figured that he would work off any effects before reaching home, so he stopped at the cafe. Before leaving, he had eaten three large orders of baked beans.


All the way home, he put-putted and after arriving, felt reasonably sure that he had putted his last. His wife seemed somewhat agitated and excited to see him and exclaimed: Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for dinner tonight. She then blindfolded him and led him to his chair at the head of the table. He seated himself and just as she was ready to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She made him vow that he would not touch the blindfold until she returned. Then she went to answer the phone.


Seizing the opportunity, he shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but as ripe as a rotten egg. He took the napkin from his lap and vigorously fanned the air around him. Things had just about returned to normal, when he felt the urge come on again, so he shifted his weight to the other leg and let go again.


This was a true prize winner. While keeping his ear on the phone, he went on like this for 10 minutes, until he knew the phone farewell indicated the end of his freedom. He placed the napkin in his lap and folded his hands on top of it and smiling contently to himself was the perfect picture on innocence.


When his wife returned she asked if he had peeked and he said no. At that point, she removed the blindfold and revealed his surprise.


Twelve dinner guests seated around the table for a birthday party for him.