My uncle told me this joke, when I was a kid:
A suspicious husband who's working all day wants to spy on his wife. He decides to buy a parrot. There are 3 parrots to choose from at the local pet shop. The first one has perfect eye-sight but can't speak. The second one can speak two languages fluently but is blind. The third one is the total package, but he has no legs...he's standing on his dick.
The husband buys the bird, shows it to his wife and puts it into the bedroom. After a long day at work, the husband is rushing into the bedroom to ask the parrot: "Anything happened while I was gone?" "Yeah, there was this guy..." "What?! What was he doing here?" "He was kissing your wife and slowly undressed her." "..." "Than he threw her on the bed, and kept kissing her." "I'm going to kill this guy! What happened then?" "She opened his pants..."
"Go on!" "I don't know what happened after that..." "WHAT?! Why?" "I got stiff."
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