Osama goes to Hell

Osama bin Laden has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes
to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do here," the devil says. "You're on my
list, but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to
stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do: I've got a
couple of people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let
one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let
YOU decide who leaves."


Osama thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil led him
into the first room.


In it was Manuel Noriega and a large pool of water. He kept
diving in and surfacing empty-handed. Over and over and over.
Such was his fate in hell.


"No," bin Laden said, "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer
and I don't think I could do that all day long."


So the devil led him to the next room. In it was the Ayatollah
Khomeini with a sledgehammer and a huge pile of rocks. All he
did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.


"No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I'd be in constant
agony if all I did was break rocks all day," bin Laden
commented.


So the devil opened a third door. In it, bin Laden saw Bill
Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head
and his legs staked in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was
his girl Monica, doing what she does best. Osama bin Laden
stared in disbelief and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."


The devil smiled and said, "OK, Monica, you're free to go."