Once upon a time.....

.......there lived a beautiful Queen with large, beautiful, queenly breasts. Gerald the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them, but he had to try.

One day Gerald revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Harold the Physician, the King's chief doctor. Harold thought about this and said that he could arrange for Gerald to satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1000 gold coins to arrange it. Gerald readily agreed to the scheme.

The next day, Harold made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's bra while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Harold informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that, among all of the citizens of the kingdom, only the saliva of Gerald would work as the antidote to cure the itch.

The King, eager to help his Queen, quickly summoned Gerald to their chambers. Harold then slipped Gerald the antidote for the itching powder, which he put into his mouth, and for the next four hours he worked with verve and elan to remove the itching on the Queen's magnificent breasts.

The itching was eventually relieved, and Gerald left satisfied. He was haled by both the King and Queen as a hero.

Upon returning to his chamber, Gerald found Harold demanding his payment of 1000 gold coins. With his hunger now satisfied, Gerald didn't care, since he knew that Harold could never report this matter to the King. With a laugh, he told Harold to get lost.

The next day, Harold slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's underwear. The King immediately summoned Gerald.
The moral of this story is: Pay your medical bills.