Once I summoned the Devil to grant my every wish.

The Devil appeared in my summoning circle, pitchfork in hand, horns on his head and a smirk on his face. 'Alright, mortal, I'll grant you three, but no more 'til the usual fee!'

As planned, I immediately shouted, 'I wish for 900 more!'

'No can do, unless you're willing to cough up!'

I thought for a moment, then said, 'Fine, here goes. I wish you would take your fork off its handle.'

The Devil, bemused, complied. 'OK. What will your second wish be?'

'Now, I wish you would shove the handle as far up your ass as possible.'

You can guess what kind of reaction that command aroused, though he had no choice but to obey and push it up about 11 inches.

'And WHAT... will be your THIRD wish?!' he shrieked in pain and rage, eyes gushing.

Now it was my turn to smirk as I said, 'Good, now grant me 900 more or I'll wish the fork back on!'

Moral of the story? If you want anything out of management in a timely fashion, give them a hard jab in the ass.