The head greenkeeper of St Andrews golf course was out inspecting the greens one morning when he spotted a golfer bending over the stream on the 18th, scooping up water with his hand and drinking it.
'Haw', he shouted, 'Ye shouldnae drink that watter, it's got coo's pish in it!'
The golfer looked up and replied, 'I'm sorry old chap, I'm English and I'm afraid I couldn't understand a word you were saying'
The greenkeeper shouted back, 'I said, use both hands, you'll get more in!'
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