I was at a bar one night and one woman, ugly and fat as can be, walked in. She noticed me and came up behind me and smacked my behind.
"Hey buddy, I like old guys, so how about you give me your number?" She said. I turned around to look at her with a pause.
"You got a pen?"
"Sure do."
"Well you'd better get back in it before the farm realizes you're missing."
My surgery is next Monday.
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