So three typical Indiana Jones types are in the deep Amazon, where they spot a jewel-encrusted idol. They're pretty sure it's some tribe's religious icon, but they can't resist grabbing it. Sure enough, within minutes they're surrounded by some really badass tribal warriors, armed to the teeth with spears and clubs.
The chieftan says "You have stolen our Idol, and by the laws of our tribe, you shall choose your punishment... *death*... or bong-bongo.
The first explorer says, "No-brainer - I'll take the bongo-bongo, how bad can that be?"
"SO BE IT!" Cries the chief, and within seconds, the tribe pounces on him, rips off his clothes and begins viciously raping him anally and orally. It goes on for 4 brutal hours. By the time it's done, his teeth are gone, his lips are split, his cheeks are torn open, and pieces of his colon hang between his blood-soaked legs. He crawls off towards camp.
The 2nd explorer thinks it over and says "OK. Bongo-Bongo. At least I'll see my family again."
"SO BE IT!!" cries the chief, and the tribe attacks again, and they're now so worked up it goes on for FIVE hours. A pygmy joins in and has his way with the poor guy's *nostrils*. They even have sex with his eye sockets (so much for seeing his family again). By sunset, he's in even worse shape than the first guy, blind, nose split wide open, crawling away with a good part of his lower GI tract dragging behind him in the dust. The chief turns to the third explorer.
"Fuck this!" he says. "I'll just take death."
"SO BE IT!!" cries the chief - "DEATH... BY BONGO BONGO!!!"
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.