Now Hiring

A guy walks by a bar and sees a sign in the window that says, 'Piano Player Wanted'. So he thinks to himself, "Shit, I play the piano, and I need a gig".
So he goes inside to apply. He speaks to the manager and tells him, "I saw the sign in the window and would like to play at your fine establishment". The manager says, " Well, come over to the piano and play me a few tunes so I can see what you got".
The guy sits down at the piano and plays one of the most beautiful pieces of music the manager has ever heard. The manager says, "That's a beautiful piece, what's the name of it"? "Oh, that's an original", the pianist replies, "I wrote it myself. I call it, 'Suck My Cock, You Dirty Whore'". The manager is surprised but keeps a straight face. He asks him to play another tune and the pianist plays another beautiful song. The manager says, "That's beautiful, what is the name of that one"? The pianist says, "That's another original I wrote. I call it, 'I'll Fuck You Up The Ass'".
The owner says, "Okay, I'll hire you under one condition. If someone asks you the name of one of your songs, please don't tell them".
The pianist agrees.
That night he starts working and he's playing away on the piano and decides to take a bathroom break. As he's coming out of the restroom, a lady stops him and says, "Do you know your fly is open and your dick is hanging out"? To which he replies, "Do I know it? I fuckin' wrote that song!"