New metals are added to chemistry

A new metal is added to chemistry:

• NAME

- Husband

• SYMBOL:

- Hb

• ATOMIC WEIGHT:

1. Light when found first
2. Tends to get heavier over the years with time

• PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Boils at any time with inlaws
2. Can freeze in front of his own family
3. Melts if sees other women
4. Very bitter if questioned

• CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Very reactive
2. Highly unstable
3. Possesses strong resistance to gold, silver, diamond, platinum, credit cards and cheque books
4. Money saving agent

• OCCURRENCE:

Mostly found in front of TV looking for News and sports channel.

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**ELEMENT 2**:
• NAME

- Women

• SYMBOL:

- Wo
• DISCOVERER:

Adam

• ATOMIC MASS:

Accepted at 53.6kg, but known to vary from 40-200kg.


• OCCURRENCES:

Copious quantities in all urban areas


• PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Surface usually covered in painted film.
2. Boils at nothing; freezes without known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
5. Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore.
6. Yields if pressure applied in correct places.

• CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Has great affinity for gold, silver, and a range of precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no kown reason.
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity increases greatly by saturation in alcohol.
5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

• COMMON USES:

1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.
3. Very effective cleaning agent.

• TESTS:

1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state.
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

• HAZARDS:

1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other.

Not to be disclosed without prior notification.