Little Ian

A teacher was testing children in a Glasgow Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting into heaven.

"If I sold my house and my car, had a big jumble sale and gave all my money to the church," she asked them, "would that get me into heaven?"

"NO!" the children answered.

"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden and kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?"

Again, the answer was 'No!'

By now she was starting to smile.

"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave sweets to all the children and loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?"

Again, they all answered 'No!'

She was just bursting with pride for them and continued, "Then HOW can I get into heaven?"

Little six-year-old Ian shouted: "Yuv got tae be fukin' dead!"