"New iEnemies App Makes Organizing Your Hit List Easier Than Ever"

(fuax Onion article. Search twitter @gizopizo for more :)

San Jose, CA - MyDarkSpace, the company behind the popular productivity tools WhyPatricide and GettingAwayWithIt, are completing their newest venture in antisocial networking. iEnemies, available soon for iOS and Andriod, is geared for those ready to take their death threats and murderous intent to the next level.

"When it comes to grudges and revenge, we here at MyDarkSpace are all about synchronicity," says Chief Developer Lance Toddman. "We want our users to be able to engage with their vengeance plots wherever they are. See an old high school bully at your kid's soccer game? Just take out your phone, open the app, and drag them to the top of the list. Find out that first boss you hated so much died in a car accident six months ago? Just press and hold on his name, then swipe left to delete. And managing your kill queue is just the beginning," says Toddman.

iEnemies offers a tiered pricing structure that allows customers to access enhanced features. "Got your own tracking method that works for you? That's fine by us. You can use the free version for as long as you want," says MyDarkSpace Vice President Mary Hulbert. "But for a small monthly fee, we can do things like track all your foes down and email you their home and work addresses. Also, we'll let you know if they move, get a new job, or experience a major life event like the birth of a child."

Another optional add-on is Easiest4U, which uses a proprietary algorithm to determine which of your enemies should be at the top of your list. "Basically, we take all the data you can provide about the people you hate, and run that against things like their distance from you, their wealth, potential protection, and dozens of other factors to recommend a manageable list that will challenge you, but not overwhelm you," explains Toddman.

Also available for a fee is access to the world wide community of iEnemies users. You can share your lists with others, as well as upload schedules, goals, and even pictures of your accomplishments.

"Perhaps the most exciting thing of all is that iEnemies works seamlessly with our whole suit of revenge products," says Hulbert. "Maybe you're ready for that first kill, but unsure how to proceed. iEnemies will sync with GettingAwayWithIt in seconds and you'll have a custom made plan built just for you that practically guarantees success. The possibilities are as limitless as your death list.”

iEnemies is now in beta for Android and will be for iPhone as soon as they complete the App Store approval process.