New Farmer

A City slicker decided after working at a desk job in the cities for 30 years that he wanted to retire to the country and have a hobby farm.

He bought a nice 10 acre hobby farm, moved his family and possetions into the house and was very pleased. Now he needed to get some farm animals.

He was new to this, so he decided to walk down the long gravel road to visit his neihbors who were all farmers and see if he could purchas a few animals to get him started.

He came to the first farm on his left, walked up the dirt driveway and greeted the farmer. He told him he wanted to buy a rabbit. The farmer looked at hime and replied "Around here we don't call them rabbits, we call them Peter cotton tails" or you can just call them a "Peter" for short.

He thanked him for letting him know and then said he wanted to buy a Peter if the farmer had one he could sell him. The farmer said he would be more than glad to sell him one, stuck a deal, and the city slicker continued down the gravel road on to another farm with his rabbit under one arm.

The city slicker comes to the next farm, walks up the dirt driveway again, looks around for the farmer, then tells him he is looking to purchase a hen. The farmer replied "Around here we don't call them hens, we call them pullets".

The city slicker thanked the farmer, then said he would like to purchase a pullet if he could from the farmer. The farmer said he has plenty to spare and would be glad to sell him one.

They struck a deal and the city slicker was on his way again down the gravel road, now with one peter and one pullet under each arm.

He reached the last farm on the end of the road, walked up to the farmer and told him he was interested in purchasing a mule, and asked if he had one he could sell. The farmer replied "Around here we don't call them mules, we call them Ass's".

Again, the city slicker thanked the farmer and said he would like to purchase an Ass if he had one he could spare.

The farmer said he had only one he could spare, and that is was a hard working Ass, but he did have a catch. The city slicker was a little concerned and asked what was wrong with the Ass. The farmer said the mule will be working and pulling nice and hard, and then suddenly stop dead in his tracks, BUT all you had to do was scratch him behind his ear, and he would go right back to work.

The city slicker thought that was no real big deal and that he could easily handle that. So city slicker struck up a deal with the farmer and decided to head home with a cock under his right arm, a pullet under his left arm, and the Ass walking beside him.

He was almost home when the Ass stopped dead in his tracks right in front of a lady working in her flower garden along the road.

The city slicker looked a little distressed, so the lady asked if she could help him. He replied......."Could you hold my peter and pullet while I scratch my Ass?"