Native American Joke: "Chief Jumping Bear, there's just one thing I don't understand: In my dream, there was this... bacon tree."

A long, long time ago, when white man first came to the Americas, there was a tribe living happily in a land with plentiful running streams, plentiful forests, and plentiful beavers. And for many, many generations, they were happy.

But one year, the plentiful running streams dried up, the plentiful forests withered, and the plentiful beavers left for fairer grounds. The people were having the worst drought in collective memory.

To remedy this, Chief Jumping Bear called his Shaman into his tipi.

"Shaman," said Chief Jumping Bear, "I need you to find my people a new home. A home with plentiful running streams, plentiful forests, and plentiful beavers."

"I won't let you down, Chief. I'll let the spirits guide my tribe to plentiful running streams, plentiful forests, and plentiful beavers," said the Shaman.

So that night, the Shaman dreamed.

He dreamed that the tribe travelled for many many moons, over the mountains, through the forests, and across the prairies, until they arrived in a land with plentiful running streams, plentiful forests, and plentiful beavers. And in the dream, the people were happy.

The next morning the Shaman told the Chief the good news. The Chief was ecstatic, saying, "We shall leave at once!"

"I am glad," said the Shaman, "but Chief Jumping Bear, there's just one thing I don't understand: In my dream, there was this... bacon tree."

"Pay it no heed." said the Chief, "We leave at once."

And so the tribe packed up their belongings and left. They travelled for many, many moons; over the mountains, through the forests, and across the prairies. And finally, after traveling for many, many moons; over the mountains, through the forests, and across the prairies, they arrived at the land the Shaman had dreamed of. It had plentiful running streams, plentiful forests, and plentiful beavers. And the people were happy, and rejoiced that night by the fire.

After the festivities, when the tribe was asleep, they were suddenly awoken by bugles calling, horses galloping, and guns firing. The tribesmen came out from the tipis to see the white men coming over the hill.

The tribespeople all retreated into the forest to hide from the white men.

As it so happened, the Chief and the Shaman were hiding behind the same boulder. The Chief angrily turned to the Shaman and said, "What is this? You said there would be plentiful running streams, plentiful forests, and plentiful beavers! Not white men!"

The Shaman turned to the Chief with sadness in his eyes and said, "Chief, I understand my dream now. That wasn't a bacon tree I saw. It was a hambush."


(I'd just like to take this opportunity to apologize in advance for making you wait so long for such a terrible pun.)