My Weird St. Patrick's Morning [NSFW]

So I get to work this morning and hit the bathroom on the way to my desk to let out some coffee. I walk through the door and there's a 3' tall guy wearing an all-green suit and a tophat taking a piss at the short urinal. I didn't mean to look, but you couldn't not notice the gentleman's extremely large penis. I did my thing and as we were washing our hands I jokingly asked him if he was a real leprechaun.

"FUCK," he says. "FUCK. You guessed it. And when I'm in a hurry, always when I'm in a fuckin hurry. Spit it out, what do you want, I don't got all fuckin day."

"What do you mean, what do I want?" I asked.

"You recognized me as a laprechaun and now you get ONE fucking wish, but hurry up now because I'm late you little cunt!"

Thinking this was a joke, I didn't wait long to say "I want a dick as big as yours bro, that thing's enormous."

The leprechaun gets all serious. He informs me that he is indeed a real leprechaun and he can make this happen for me but warns me that I might want another wish. "Now laddy, that is a huge responsibility. Larger than you know. You could ask me for a million dollars or anything else you want," as he takes a HUGE wad of cash out of his tiny pocket to my amazement.

"I'd really like a dick as big as yours" I say without hesitation. My wife would love that thing.

"A dick this big can really hurt someone laddy. I'll grant you your wish, but first you have to let me fuck you in the ass so you can feel how bad this could hurt someone before you hurt someone yourself. Or do you just want this million dollars?" as he waves the stack of cash in my face.

I thought for a second, but undaunted, agreed to his terms. As a hetero I've never taken anything to the ass but I figure "What the hell? No one will know... it'll be between me and the leprechaun, and my wife would really like this..." He took me into the stall and had his way with me. Let's just say he was larger than he looked, and it hurt very, very bad...

He finishes up, wipes off, and starts to head out of the bathroom. I look down at my pathetic member and it hasn't changed in size at all. In fairly severe pain from my violation, I called out weakly "Hey leprechaun! You forgot to grant my wish!"

He turns around, comes back, and asks "Laddy, how old are you?"

"32" I murmer out through my pain.

He puts his hand consolingly on my shoulder and asks, "And you still believe in leprechauns do you?"

**tl;dr** how long does it take for a leprechaun wish to become granted?

You might also enjoy

Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.