My favorite Latvian jokes.

Man is hungry. He steal bread to feed family. Get home, find all family have gone Siberia! “More bread for me,” man think. But bread have worm.

Man car break down near house of farmer. Take shelter in barn. Find farmer daughter in barn. Oh! Hot stuff! But TOO LATE! Is already rape by soldier.

Latvian walk into bar with mule. Bartender say, “Why so long face?” Latvian say, “I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby.

Three Latvian are brag about sons. “My son is soldier. He have rape as many women as want,” say first Latvian. “Zo?” second say, “My son is farmer. He have all potato he want!” Third Latvian wait long time, then say, “My son is die at birth. For him, struggle is over.” “Wow! You are win us,” say others. But all are feel sad.

What are one potato say other potato? A : Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato?

How many Latvian is take screw in light bulb? A : 25. One screw in, 24 ride bicycle generator for 1-hour shift. But time probably better spend search food.

What is happening if you cross Latvian and potato?
A: This is cruel joke. please, no more.

Latvian try to cross river. Has dog, potatoes, and dead son's body. Can only take two across river at one time. If he leave dog with potatoes or corpse, dog eat them. Is very sad. Also is not good boat.
One day, hear knock on door.
Man ask "Who is?"
"Is potato man, I come around to give free potato"
Man is very excite and opens door.
Is not potato man, is secret police.

Two Latvian look at clouds.
One see potato. Other see impossible dream.
Is same cloud.

I no believe people have not hear these jokes. The are very funny.
I lied. They are very sad. Here is my favourite:


Handy latvian man see farmer and say, "Your wheelbarrow sound squeaky, I fix for half potato." Farmer angry because as he say, "This not wheelbarrow, this is wife!"

Latvian girl is say, "I want go America one day." Father say, "I send you America." Daughter is thank father. Make tears of happy. Father use for salty potato. Father think moment, say, "Daughter, I no send you America." Potato is more salt.

Latvian man not see old neighbor for many days. He go into house to see how is. Neighbor frozen to death. Man very happy. Family eat well for many weeks now.

Latvian is rub lamp find genie. Genie say, “What is three wishes?” Latvian say, “I wish potato!” Then, POOF! Potato! Latvian so happy! “Oh! Is potato! Is potato!” say Latvian. Genie ask, “What is next wish?” Latvian is say, “I wish you go away so can enjoy potato!” POOF! Too bad. Also, was only lamp.