Three guys die in a car accident and are now waiting at the Pearly Gates to get into heaven. St. Peter walks up to them and says "Welcome to heaven. You have all made it to heaven however your eternal companion will be determined by your sins."
The first guy walks up and sees this really homely looking girl walk towards him so he turns and asks St. Peter "what did I do wrong?"
"Well I see here that you cheated on your taxes," St. Peter replies.
The first guy sighs and walks to his eternal companion. The second guy also cheated on his taxes so his eternal companion was also quite ugly.
The third guy is quite fat with a hideous face, and he looks forlorn as he knows he has a lot of sins. To his surprise, this gorgeous woman walks out to be his eternal companion.
The first two guys instantly complain. "This guy cheated on his wife! Why does he get a beautiful companion?"
St. Peter shrugs. "She cheated on her taxes."
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/protip: At a party use the names of people at the party to get far more mileage out of it
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