This one's kind of corny, but it's always been a good one for me that's safe with family.
A man walks into a pet shop to buy a parrot, and he's sees several beautiful varieties for sale. One of the parrots looks fairly bedraggled, and is not nearly as colorful as the rest, but it's price is far higher than the others. He's asks the store owner why that particular bird is so expensive and the owner explains that that bird is musical, and if you light a match under his feet he'll sing Christmas carols. The man is intrigued so he's buys the bird and takes him home, and later that day he decides to see what carols the bird can sing. So, he lights a match and holds it under the parrot's left foot, and the bird starts to sing "Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way." Then the man holds the match under the right foot, and the bird starts to sing, "Silent night, holy night, all is calm...". So, then the man holds the match directly underneath the bird between his legs, and the bird starts to sing, "chestnuts roasting on an open fire..."
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