My Chinese Wife: Lost in Translate

This isn't a joke, but a true story and a lesson for those who dare tackle racial boundaries. I spent a couple years living in China (I have no Chinese heritage whatsoever), where I met my wife, who speaks Mandarin & some English as a 2nd language. Her English is good, but she struggles with some words. The first time she saw my penis she said "Wow, it's very wai-de, it's maybe the most wai-de penis in the world!". I of course was thinking "Aww, hell yeah, I got a wide penis!", which is a stark contrast to every other woman who's ever seen it and been like "Oh, that's it?". I had heard in stand up comedy and other various reputable news sources that Chinese guys were not as well endowed as us Westerners, typically, so I figured it was a racial difference. The first time we had sex, she was yelling "Oh my god it's so wai-de, it hurts me it's so wai-de!" and I was so proud of myself. A year after we were married, we were walking outside & she picked up a stick & held it up and said with a naughty grin "Look, honey, it's wai-de, like your penis". I looked at the stick, and noticed it was quite narrow, considerably thinner than my penis, which I pointed out. She said "No, I mean... it goes straight, then suddenly goes left... Wai-De". We got out a dictionary. "Wai-de" is Chinese for "Crooked". She's like "OH! Yes... It's very crooked like your penis". I was like "Oh, I thought you meant my penis was big". She said "Ohhhh, no no, very small."