One year, a man recorded every day of the year and whether he had sex with his wife or not. In the 365 days he conducted his research, he only had sex 12 days. He recorded the reasons why his wife couldn't have sex with him, and these are the results:
The sheets are clean 54 times It is too late 17 times Too tired from shopping all day 49 times It is too early 20 times It is too hot 15 times Pretending to be asleep 15 times The neighbors will hear us 3 times Headache 22 times Sunburn times Your Mother will hear us times Not in the mood 43 times You will wake the baby 17 times Watching the late show 6 times New Hairdo 5 times Too sore 16 times Wrong time of month 36 times Have to get up early 19 times And Here is this man's wife's version of the research: Came home drunk and tried to "do" the cat 15 times Did not come home at all 36 times Did not come 21 times Came too soon 33 times Went soft before you got it in 33 times Toes cramped 10 times Working too late 38 times Have to get up early to play golf 29 times Had a fight and someone kicked you in the balls 2 times Caught Herman in your zipper 4 times Caught a cold and your nose kept running 3 times Burned your tongue on hot coffee 3 times You had a splinter in your finger 2 times Came in your PJ's while reading a dirty book 16 times Watching football on TV 8 times Hemorrhoids flared up 10 times
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