Lose Weight Fast!

There one was a heavyset guy who had tried every diet in the world in an
attempt to lose weight? He tried the Scarsdale diet, the Navy diet, Weight
Watchers, and many more. None worked. One day, he was reading the Washington
Post when he noticed a small ad that read:


Lose weight: Only $1.00 a pound Call (202) 555-0238
the man decided to give it a try and called the number. A voice on the other
end asked, "How much weight do you want to lose?"
The man responded, "Ten pounds."
The voice replied, "Very well, give me your credit card
number and we'll have a representative over to your house in the morning."
About 9:00 am the next morning the man gets a knock on the door. There stood a
beautiful redhead, completely naked except for a sign around her neck stating,
"If you catch me, you can have me."
Well, the hefty fellow chased her upstairs, downstairs, over sofas, through
the kitchen, all around the house. Finally, panting and wheezing like a dog, he
did catch her. When he was through enjoying himself, she said, "Quick, go into
the bathroom and weigh yourself." He did just that and was amazed to find that
he had lost ten pounds, right to the ounce!
That evening he called the number again. The voice on the other end asked,
"How much weight do you want to lose?"--to which the somewhat-less-overweight
man replied, "Twenty pounds." "Very well," the voice on the phone told him,
"Give me your credit card number and we'll have a representative over to your
house in the morning."
"At about 8:00 am the next morning the man receives a knock on the door. When
he opens the door he sees a beautiful blonde dressed only in track shoes and a
sign around her neck stating, "If you catch me, you can have me." The chase took
a good while longer this time and the man nearly passed out, but he finally did
catch her. When he was through she told him, "Quick, run into the bathroom and
weigh yourself." He ran to the bathroom and found he had lost another 20
pounds!
"This is fantastic!" he thought to himself.
Later that evening he called the number again and the voice at the other end
asked, "How much weight do you want to lose?" "Fifty pounds!" the man exclaimed.
"Fifty pounds?" the voice asked, "That's an awful lot of weight to lose at one
time." The man replied, "Listen buddy, here's my credit card number, you just
have your representative over here in the morning!" and he hung up the phone.
About 6:00 am the next morning the man gets out of bed,
splashes on some cologne and gets all ready for the next representative. At
about 7:00 am he gets a knock on the door. When he opens the door, he sees this
large gorilla with a sign around his neck stating, "If I catch you, I am going
to have you."