Little Johnny stories with a moral (long joke)

The teacher tells her students to come up with a story with a moral for homework.

The next day the teacher says, "Okay everyone lets listen to your stories. Susie you are up first."

Susie says "We live on a farm and I was collecting eggs from the hen house one day. I gathered the eggs and put them in my basket and set off running toward the house. While running I tripped over a rock and smashed all of the eggs."

"So what's the moral of the story Susie?" Asked the teacher.

"Don't put all of your eggs in one basket," said Susie.

Next it was Billy's turn to go.

"We also live on a farm," said Billy. "We have incubators to help our eggs hatch. One night there was a thunderstorm and lightning knocked out the power to the incubators."

"So what's the moral of that story Billy?" Asked the teacher.

"Don't count your chickens before they hatch," said Billy.

Next was little Johnny's turn.

"So my Uncle Bob was about 15 clicks outside of De Nang during the Vietnam War," said little Johnny. "He was hanging his head out of a chopper when he spied 100 North Vietnamese Regulars marching toward his platoon. Bob had a parachute, an M-60, a machete, and a full handle of Jack Daniels. So Bob leaps out of the chopper, downs his bottle of Jack, and then opens his chute. As soon as he lands he starts firing. His gun looks like a dragon barking fire. He takes out 65 Zipper Heads before he runs out of bullets. Then he pulls out his machete and starts hacking precisely like a surgeon at the Gooks. He slaughters another 25 before his machete gets stuck in some poor bastard's head. Uncle Bob then balls up his fists and starts swinging at the remaining son's of bitches. He kills the final ten men with his bare hands."

The teacher looks quizzically at little Johnny and asks, "So what's the moral of that story Johnny?"

Johnny replies, "Don't FUCK with Uncle Bob when he's drunk."