Lil Old Lady

A little old lady goes into the Chase Manhattan Bank, tells the teller that
she has $5,000,000.00 in cash to be used to open an account. However, before she
just hands over that much money, she would like to meet the man who runs things.


The teller calls the bank president, and arranges the meeting. The lady goes
into his office, and after introductions are made, the bank president asks the
lady how she came to have so much cash on hand.


The lady tells him that she's an avid gambler. The bank president says "You
must be the luckiest person that I've ever met, to win so much!" "No" replies
the lady, "I will only bet on a sure thing, and since I am somewhat gifted with
the ability to see the future, ALL of my bets are sure things."


The bank president smiles and says "No, it must be luck madam. There is no
such thing as a sure thing". "I'll prove it!" says the lady. She then closes her
eyes and starts to hum softly for about 30 seconds. "O.K...I have looked into
your future and I'm afraid there's bad news. By 8:00 a.m tomorrow, your
testicles will have changed shape and will be perfectly square."


The bank president is starting to think this lady is nuts, so he tells her
that he has no more time for this malarky and he would like for her to leave.
The lady refuses, and proposes a wager. The man declines until the old lady says
"Look, I'll bet you $5,000.00 that by 8:00 tomorrow morning, your testicles will
be square! What have you got to lose? You claim I can't win - there's no such
thing as A sure thing...right?" By this the bank pres. is really starting to
dislike this old broad, and not only would he enjoy teaching her a lesson, he
could use the $5K. "O.K fine!" he yells "You got a bet!".


"Wonderful!" proclaims the lady, "I'll see you 1st thing tomorrow. Do you mind
if my attorney accompanies me? I always have him present for wagers over
$500.00." The man replies "Lady, I don't care who you bring, as long as you
bring the money!"


That night the bank president has some strange dreams, and what the lady said
is really starting to get to him. The next morning, he's greatly releaved to see
that everything is the same shape as always. He dresses, and goes to the bank
where he finds the lady and a man waiting for him.


"Well" says the lady, "Do you want to have the money deposited into my new
account, or do you have cash?"


The bank pres. smiles and replies "I feel bad doing this, but nutty old dames
like you need to be taught a lesson sometimes, and I know that you can afford
it, so it is you that must pay. You see, my testicles are the same shape they've
always been. Not the slightest bit square." "What!" cries the lady, "That can't
be!! I never imagined that it would come to this, but I won't pay one cent until
I've examined the testicles myself!"


The bank pres. blushes with embarrassment, but finally replies "Under the
circumstances, I suppose that's not unreasonable" and with that he drops his
pants. The lady gets on her knees to grasp him, and her attorney screams "DAMMIT
YOU OLD BAT!! YOU'VE DONE IT TO ME AGAIN!!" and he hands her $15,000.00 in cash.


At this point the bank president is completely lost. "What in the hell was
that all about?" he asks. "Oh," says the lady as she carefully puts the money
into her bag "I bet him that I would literally have the president of the Chase
Manhattan Bank by the balls before 9:00 this morning. So here's the $5,000.00
that I lost to you, and please add the other $10,000.00 to my new account"