Like the Book...

Disclaimer: I am retelling this joke exactly as I heard it, so I hope I don't get in trouble.

Little Red Riding Hood was sitting upstairs in her room listening to music, when her mum calls her down into the kitchen, so she heads downstairs. When Red enters the kitchen, her mum asks, "Little Red would you mind taking this basket of goodies to your ill grandmother in the morning?"

Little Red immediately reaches for her cloak and puts it on and says, "It's no problem, I'll go now."

Her mum gets all wide-eyed and exclaims, "But, it's late and the Big Bad Wolf is about! You know what he's going to do... He's capture you, strip you naked and fuck the living daylights out of you!"

Little Red then grabs the shotgun from the wall holder and says, "I'm eleven, and I have the family's shotgun, I'll be fine!" So with that, she sets off into the Woods.

As she is walking through the woods, she runs into the Three Little Pigs. One of the Pigs asks, "Little Red what are you doing in the Woods so late at night?"

Red responds, "I'm taking this basket of goodies to my ill grandmother."

Pig says, "But, it's late, and the Big Bad Wolf is about! You know what he's going to do! He's going to capture you, strip you naked and fuck the living daylights out of you!"

Little Red replies same as before, "It's no problem! I'm eleven, and have the family's eight gauge, I'll be fine!"

Red then gets to her grandmother's cottage, and goes into her bedroom. She then shuts the door behind her and gasps, "My Grandmother, you're not looking well at all!"

All of a sudden the Big Bad Wolf pops out of the bed and exclaims, "HA! I've been waiting a very long time for this! You know what I am going to do? I'm going to capture you, strip you naked and fuck the living daylights out of you!"

This is when Little Red calmly sets the basket down, strips naked, cocks the shotgun, points it at him and says, "No, you're going to eat me like the book says!"