Kids say the darnedest things

A young lad was in the car with his Dad on the way home. Dad's listening to the radio to hear the football scores. They get stopped by a routine police patrol who do a quick licence check and send them on their way. Flummoxed by this, the boy asks his father who those people were. Not listening, the father says, "bastards" (as he's just heard his favourite team have lost 1-0). Arriving home they wipe their feet on the welcome mat. Dad drops his keys and exclaims, "Shite!". The boy walks into the house and heads to the kitchen while his father goes upstairs. "Mammy, what are you doing?", he asks as he arrives in the kitchen. At this very moment the boy's mother is grappling with the inside of a dead turkey in which she's lost her wedding ring, "Well fuck this turkey!" she shouts. Shrugging his shoulders the boy heads upstairs to use the loo. He knocks on the door to make sure it's empty and hears a shout of pain and the unmistakable sound of a electric shaver. "Balls", shouts his dad. The boy then heads downstairs when the doorbell rings. He opens the door only to find two policemen standing at the threshold. Armed with his newly found wisdom he says, "Well bastards, come on in. Feel free to wipe your feet in the shite, me ma's in the kitchen fucking the turkey and me dad's upstairs shaving his balls."