...and John is equally terrified and excited, a total nervous wreck.
On the day his wife went to the hospital, John went to work at the factory, prepared to leave as soon as he got the call that his wife was in labor.
John could barely concentrate. His mind was swimming with doubt and elation. He never had a good relationship with his own father, and it was of great importance to him that he not repeat his father's sins. As the day wore on, his doubts began to fade into unbridled anticipation. He passed cigars around the break room, and happily accepted congratulations from his coworkers. Everyone's positivity only amplified John's joy.
Finally the call came, and John rushed from the factory, stopping only in the hospital gift shop for a huge bouquet of flowers and a Teddy bear for his new pride and joy.
When he arrived at the delivery room, the doctor informed him that minor complications had forced them to do a C-section. John had to wait outside the OR.
Though it wasn't long,, the wait seemed INFINITE to the impatient new father. He paced up and down the busy hallway, his mind racing, thinking back to all the ways HIS father failed, and swearing to himself that his son would never have to experience that pain. He began to sweat profusely, and opened a hallway window for some fresh air.
"I'll never touch another drop of alcohol!" he thought. "And I'll do with him everything I never got to do. I'll teach him baseball! I'll teach him about girls!" With every thought and future plan, his heart swelled with love and emotion.
Finally the doctor emerged from the operating room, gently carrying a tiny figure wrapped tightly in hospital blankets.
"Here's your boy!"
John began to cry happy tears. "Oh my God, doc! Can I hold him? Please let me hold him!"
"Of course!" said the doctor...but as the doctor approached John, he stumbled and the baby slipped from his arms and hit the floor with a sickening "thunk".
John's scream could be heard two counties away.
"Oh my God, I'm so sorry!" said the doctor, and he lunged to scoop the newborn off the floor...but when he bent over, he lost his balance and pitched forward with the child in his arms.
"WhooooOOAAAH!" The doctor stumbled across the hall and slammed into the wall...and the baby flew from his arms again....and out the open window, plummeting 5 stories down to the parking lot.
John hit his knees with a sobbing banshee wail. "What have you done!?!? MY GOD, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!!???"
The doctor turned and said, "Nah, I'm just fucking with you. It was already dead."
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