...unfortunately, they we're captured by a local cannibal tribe.
The tribe leader gave them each a chance to live and be escorted out of the forest with one condition, they have to pass the tribe leader's trial: To go find a fruit and go back with it.
John was the first one to come back and brought an apple with him. The leader then instructed that the fruit be inserted up John's ass for 5 seconds without him having any facial reactions. 3 seconds in and he let out a huge painful cry. The leader signaled his men to behead John and so they did.
Ted was next and brought a blueberry with him, he was instructed to do the exact same thing that John did. A split second remaining for the countdown to finish when Ted laughed uncontrollably, letting out tears. He was beheaded almost instantly.
In the afterlife, John asked why Ted did what he did when he was surely about to be spared by his life. Ted answered, "Dave was coming back carrying a fucking huge jackfruit, what the hell am i supposed to do?"
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