Insurance Claim Forms

TRUE EXTRACTS FROM UK INSURANCE CLAIM FORMS:


I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than
I thought.


I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet.
I realized the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it
with a blanket.


Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?
A: Traveled by bus?


This Norwich Union customer collided with a cow. The questions
and answers on the claim form were:
Q: What warning was given by you?
A: Horn
Q: What warning was given by the other party?
A: Moo


On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly
broke.


I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the
pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control.


I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight.


I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have
asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk.


Q: Do you engage in motorcycling, hunting or any other pastimes
of a hazardous nature?
A: I Watch the Lottery Show and listen to Terry Wogan.


Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo.


The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him
again.


I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my
mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.


The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its
intention.


I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.


A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.


A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.


In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.


I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home.
As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up obscuring my
vision and I did not see the other car.


I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my
universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.


To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck the
pedestrian.


My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.


An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.


I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found
in a ditch by some stray cows.