In the stock market today


Helium was up, feathers were down, paper was stationary, Fluorescent lights were down in light trading, knives were up sharply, pencil were down a few points, elevators were up and down, escalators experienced a slight decline, mining equipment hit rock bottom, the market for raisins dried up, vacuum cleaners picked up, caravans were trailing, socks were unchanged, balloon prices were inflated, and the bottom fell out of disposable diapers.

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