I'm Not Touching It

Bob goes into the public restroom and sees this guy standing
next to the urinal. The guy has no arms. As Bob's standing
there, taking care of business, he wonders to himself how the
poor wretch is going to take a leak.


Bob finishes and starts to leave when the man asks Bob to help
him out. Being a kind soul, Bob says, "Ah, OK, sure, I'll help
you." The man asks, "Can you unzip my zipper?" Bob says, "OK."
Then the man says, "Can you pull it out for me?" Bob replies,
"Uh, yeah, OK." Bob pulls it out and it has all kinds of mold
and red bumps, with hair clumps, rashes, moles, scabs, scars,
and reeks something awful. Then the guy asks Bob to point it for
him, and Bob points for him. Bob then shakes it, puts it back in
and zips it up. The guy tells Bob, "Thanks, man, I really
appreciate it." Bob says, "No problem, but what the hell's wrong
with your penis?" The guy pulls his arms out of his shirt and
says, "I don't know, but I ain't touching it."