If Woman Ruled the World...

- Men would sit around and wonder what WE are thinking.


- Women with cold hands would give men prostate exams.


- PMS would be a legitimate defense in court.


- Men would get reputations for sleeping around.


- Singles bars would have metal detectors to weed out men hiding
wedding rings in their pockets.


- A man would no longer be considered a "good catch" simply
because he is breathing.


- Fewer women would be dieting because their ideal weight
standard would increase by 40 pounds.


- Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity.


- "Ms." Magazine would have an annual swimsuit issue featuring
scantily clad male models.


- Men would not be allowed to eat gas-producing foods within two
hours of bedtime.


- Men would be secretaries for female bosses, working twice as
hard for none of the credit.


- Little girls would read "Snow White and the Seven Hunks."


- Men would bring drinks, chips and dip to women watching soap
operas.


- Men would HAVE to get Playboy for the articles, because there
would be no pictures.


- Men would learn phrases like: "I'm sorry," " I love you,"
"You're beautiful," "Of course you don't look fat in that
outfit."


- Men would be judged entirely by their looks, women by their
accomplishments.


- Men would pay as much attention to their woman as to their car.


- All toilet seats would be nailed down.


- Men would work on relationships as much as they work on their
careers.


- TV news segments on sports would never run longer than 1
minute.


- All men would be forced to spend one month in a PMS simulator.


- During mid-life crisis, men would get hot-flashes and women
would date 19-year-olds.


- Overweight men would have their weight brought to their
attention constantly.


- After a baby is born, men would take a six-week paternity
leave to wait on their wives hand and foot.


- For basic training, soldiers would have to take care of a
two-year old for six weeks.