If the Ten Commandments were Written by Popular Websites

I. What You Need to Know Now About the Lord Totally Being God
II. At the Beginning He Had 
Me Confused, but by Minute Two I Knew that I Shouldn’t Have Other Gods
III. Are You Making This Common Mistake with Graven Images?
IV. How I Work: Read This 
Life Hack from God, Your Only Creator
V. She Admitted to Doing 
What Every Sunday?
VI. Seven Morning Habits of 
People Holier than You: 
#7 No Killing Before Lunch
VII. 37 Things in Your Bedroom That You Need to Get Rid of Right Now, Like Adulteresses
VIII. What the Government Doesn’t Want You to Know About Stealing Your Neighbor’s Servants
IX. This Little Girl Bore False 
Witness, and the Results Will Shock You
X. Doctors Hate Her, but You Shouldn’t Covet Her
From DAVID TATE, on McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, mcsweeneys.net

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