THE MINISTRY OF HEALTH HAS PROPOSED THAT WARNING SIGNS BE PLACED ON BOOZE BOTTLES TO TIP OFF DRINKERS ABOUT THE POSSIBLE PERIL OF POUNDING A PINT OR TWO.
1. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard off a sewer truck at 100 yards.
2. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.
3. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.
4. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
5. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you REALLY think while photocopying your butt at the office Christmas party.
6. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.
7. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell ever happened to your pants anyway.
8. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).
9. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.
10. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Psycho.
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