If Microsoft was Jewish

1. Instead of getting a "General Protection Fault" error, your PC would get "Ferklempt."


2. When you fill up your "C-drive", you will get a "Hard Drive is Shtupped" message.


3. Hanukkah screen savers will have "Flying Dreidels."


4. CD-ROM's would be rendered obsolete with the invention of high compression DVB's (digital video bagels).


5. Your "Start" button would be replaced with a "Let's go! I'm not getting any younger!" button.


6. "Abort, Retry, Ignore" would be replaced with "Stop it already. You're killing me! You vant I should try it again? I didn't hear that!"


7. When disconnecting external devices from the back of your PC, you would be instructed to "Remove the cable from your PC's tuchis."


8. Your multimedia player would be renamed to "Nu, so play my music already!"


9. During Passover, your PC would not be able to read leavened floppies."


10. "Microsoft Word" would be renamed to "Microsoft Kibbitz."


11. Microsoft Office would include "A little byte of this, and a little byte of that."


12. When running "scandisk", you will be prompted with a "You vant I should fix this?" message.


13. When your PC is working too hard, you would occasionally hear a loud "Oy!!!"


14. A "monitor cleaning solution" from Manischewitz would advertise that it gets rid of the "schmutz" on your monitor.


15. After 20 minutes of no activity, your PC would go "Schloffen."


16. Computer viruses would now be cured with chicken soup.


17. Solitaire would be replaced with on-line "Bingo"or "Mah-Jong."