"I just deleted all the German names off my phone."

***"It's Hans free"***

*Funniest joke at this years Fringe by Darren Walsh.*

**The rest of the top ten.**

2 -"Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse ... but enough about Kanye West" - Stewart Francis

3 - "Surely every car is a people carrier?" - Adam Hess

4 - "What's the difference between a 'hippo' and a 'Zippo'? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter" - Masai Graham

5 - "If I could take just one thing to a desert island I probably wouldn't go" - Dave Green

6 - "Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That's not a miracle. That's tapas" - Mark Nelson

7 - "Red sky at night. Shepherd's delight. Blue sky at night. Day" - Tom Parry

8 - "The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves" - Alun Cochrane

9 - "Clowns divorce. Custardy battle" - Simon Munnery

10 - "They're always telling me to live my dreams. But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for..." - Grace The Child

**Honourable mentions.**

"I never lie on my CV…because it creases it." - Jenny Collier

"If you don't know what introspection is you need to take a long, hard look at yourself" - Ian Smith

"I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 because I like that one-to-one time" - Tom Ward

"Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman. It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't" - Gyles Brandreth

"Let me tell you a little about myself. It's a reflexive pronoun that means 'me'" - Ally Houston

"Earlier this year I saw "The Theory of Everything" - loved it. Should've been called "Look Who's Hawking", that's my only criticism" - James Acaster