I got this e-mail today.

I got this e-mail today. It had a diferent title, but it may offend some, so I changed it. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (That's the only time I have to work on my hair.) On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?) On a bar of Dial soap -- Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be???....) On some Swanson frozen dinners -- Serving suggestion: Defrost. (but, it's just a suggestion.) On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- Do not turn upside down. (well...duh, a bit late, huh!) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- Product will be hot after heating. (...and you thought????...) On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- Do not iron clothes on body. (but wouldn't this save me time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication. (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.) On Nytol Sleep Aid -- Warning:May cause drowsiness. (...I'm taking this because???....) On most brands of Christmas lights -- For indoor or outdoor use only. (as opposed to what?) On a Japanese food processor -- Not to be used for the other use. (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) On Sainsbury's peanuts -- Warning: contains nuts. (talk about a news flash) On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts. (Step 3: say what?) On a child's Superman costume -- Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) On a Swedish chainsaw -- Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals. (Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)