husband into a deep depression

A certain sales couple loved to compete with each other, comparing their achievements in every aspect of their lives; salaries, commissions, athletic abilities, social accomplishments, Jigsaw points, and so on. Everything was a contest, and the husband sank into a deep depression because he had yet to win a single one. Finally he sought professional counsel, explaining to the shrink that while he wouldn't mind losing once in a while, his unbroken string of defeats against his wife, had left him pretty down.

"Simple enough. All we have to do is devise a game that you can't possibly lose." The shrink thought for a moment, then he proposed a peeing contest. "Whoever can pee higher on the wall wins? How could any woman win?"

Running home with renewed enthusiasm, the husband called upstairs, "Darling, I've got a new game!"

"Oooh, I love games," his wife squealed, running down the stairs. "What is it?"

"Come on out here," the salesman instructed, pulling his his saleswoman wife out to the patio. "We're going to stand here and pee against the garage wall, and whoever makes the highest mark wins!"

"Sounds like fun! I'll go first!" His wife proceeded to lift up her dress, then her leg, and she managed to pee on the garage wall about six inches up from the ground. She turned to him expectantly.

"Okay, now it's my turn," said the beleaguered husband eagerly. He unzipped his fly, and was just about to make his mark when his wife interrupted.

"Hold on a sec," she called out. "No hands allowed!"