How to Make a Marriage Last

My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last.


1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.


2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida and mine is in N.Y.


3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.


4. I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"


"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!"


So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"


5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.


6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster,and electric bread maker. Then she said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair


7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well, there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, she told me "In the lake."


8. My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but BOY, can she climb a tree now!


9. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.


10. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"


The driver said, "No, jump in!"