A young man walks into a pub sits down and orders a pint. As he's drinking his pint he notices an older fellow just pounding back shot after shot of whiskey, looking absolutely miserable. Well, the young man is a bit curious, so he sits down next to the older gentleman and asks:
"Why so glum, what has happened to you to make you turn to the bottle in such a fashion?"
The older man turns to him and says,
"I'll tell you why, I built the town bridge with my own two hands, all by myself, not a bit of help from any other man. Do they call me 'Willy the Bridge Builder?'"
"No!" and he pounds back a shot.
"I'm a good father, a loving husband, I never forget a birthday, anniversary, holiday, I never miss a teacher's conference, I've never cheated on my wife, I help my children study, I'm the perfect father and husband. Do they call me 'Willy the Family man?'"
"NO! Not Once!" and he takes another shot.
"I have started 3 different charities, I give money to the poor and needy, I make plenty of money and give most of it away to people less fortunate than I. Do they call me "Willy the Charitable?'"
"NO!! Of course Not!!" takes yet again another shot.
"BUT YOU ***FUCK*** ONE GODDAMN ***GOAT***!!"
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