Hellen Keller List


Q: Why does Helen Keller have a yellow leg?
A: Her dog is blind also.


Q: Did you know that Helen Keller had a doll house in the backyard?
A: Neither did she.


Q: Why could Helen Keller only masturbate with one hand?
A: She needed the other hand to moan.


Q: What happened when Helen Keller fell down the well?
A: She screamed her hands off!


You've seen the Helen Keller doll?
Wind it up, and it walks into a wall.


Ever wonder how Helen Keller could tell the difference between the men's room and the ladies room?
She feels her way around.


Q: How did Helen Keller burn her ear?
A: Answering the iron.


Q: How did she burn her other ear?
A: They called back.


Q: Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
A: You'd run away too if your name was Yeeaawwoaw.
(make strange noise)


Why did Helen wear skin-tight pants?
So her friends could read her lips.


How did Helen Keller break her hand?
Trying to read the stop sign at 50 mph.


HOW DID HELEN KELLER BURN HER FACE?
ANSWER: BOBBING FOR FRENCH FRIES!


How did Helen Keller drive her car?
One hand on the wheel; The other on the road.


How did Helen Keller meet her husband?
On a blind date!


What's Helen Keller's idea of oral sex?
A Manicure.


How did Helen Keller pierce her ear?
Answering the stapler.


What was Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.


Why didn't Helen Keller scream when she fell down the stairs?
She was wearing gloves.


What was Helen Keller's speech impediment?
Calluses.


How did Helen Keller's teachers punish her for talking in class?
They made her wear mittens.


Why didn't Helen Keller change her baby's diaper?
So she could always find him.


Why did Helen Keller have yellow fingers?
From whispering sweet-nothings in her boyfriends ear.


How did Helen Keller go crazy?
Trying to read the stucco walls.


How did Helen Keller pick her eyes out?
She shouted hysterically.


Why did Helen Keller stop skydiving?
It was hell on the seeing eye dog!


What goes ("CLICK" is that it? "CLICK" is that it? "CLICK" is that it?)?
Hellen Keller working the rubix cube.


Seen Stevie Wonder's new video?
He hasn't either.

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