Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river.Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current.Good News: The Women's Guild voted to send you a get-well card.Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30.Good News: The Elder Board accepted your job description the way you wrote it.Bad News: They were so inspired by it, they also formed a search committee to find somebody capable of filling the position.Good News: You finally found a choir director who approaches things exactly the same way you do.Bad News: The choir mutinied.Good News: Mrs. Jones is wild about your sermons.Bad News: Mrs. Jones is also wild about the "Gong Show," "Beavis and Butthead" and "Texas Chain Saw Massacre."Good News: Your women's softball team finally won a game.Bad News: They beat your men's softball team.Good News: The trustees finally voted to add more church parking.Bad News: They are going to blacktop the front lawn of your parsonage.Good News: Church attendance rose dramatically the last three weeks.Bad News: You were on vacation.Good News: Your deacons want to send you to the Holy Land.Bad News: They are stalling until the next war.Good News: Your biggest critic just left your church.Bad News: He has been appointed the Head Bishop of your denomination.Good News: The youth in your church come to your house for a surprise visit.Bad News: It's in the middle of the night and they are armed with toilet paper and shaving cream to "decorate" your house.
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