God's rules for Adam

When God finished creating the world he approached Adam to give him the rules for the newly minted world. "If you can follow 2 simple rules, all of this world will be yours to use as you see fit. Do you see that apple tree over there?" "Yes." Adam replied. "Don't eat them." "Simple enough." "Second, and more importantly, your wife is going to bleed periodically. When she does this, it is imperative that you DO NOT let her get in the ocean." "I think I can handle that." Said Adam.

Several weeks passed and sure enough, just as God had said, Eve began to bleed. Before Adam even knew what was happening, Eve was already washing herself in the surf. Adam watched in horror as the ocean began to turn red. The change was subtle at first but before long the entire ocean was red as far as the eye could see. Adam knew he fucked up so he went into hiding. He watched from the bushes as God came down, looked over the ocean, shook his head, and began to clean the ocean.

Adam watched for 9 days as this continued until the ocean was bluer than it had been when it was originally created. When Adam saw that God was finished, he came out of hiding and immediately tried to butter God up and get back in his good graces.

"Man, the water is spectacular. You did an amazing job! It looks better than it did when you first created it." "Thank you" the Lord responded, "It was no easy task. It took far less effort to create it than it did to fix it." Adam continued to Praise the work that had been done... "This is the most magnificent sight I've ever laid my eyes upon! You sure can do some amazing things, Lord." "Thank you my son." The Lord responded. "I did what I could to make things normal again." "Normal!? It looks better than new! what do you mean you did what you could? It seems to me that you made it better!" The Lord shook his head as said "It may look normal but I was unable to return everything to it's original state. I was able to clean the water in a matter of several days but I tried and tried and tried but I don't think I'll ever be able to get the smell out of the fish."