Gherkin Flu

This guy spends a wild week on holiday hitting brothels and the like and after a few days back home realises he over did it as his big end is green. He goes to see a doctor who makes a fatal STI diagnosis and says the best chance of long term survival is complicated and expensive amputation of his genitalia - balls and all. Naturally, he goes for several second opinions and all seem to indicate his days as a monk are fast approaching.

On a tip-off from a friend, he goes to an Asian herbalist who immediately recognises the rash and calls bullshit on the aforementioned western doctors:

"Those western doctors are so full of shit, totally caught up in making money!" The herbalist declares.

"So I don't need amputation?" The guy says, excitedly.

"No," says the herbalist "after two weeks it'll all just fall off by itself."

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