Get Your Ire Up

Three Englishmen were getting soused in a pub, when they spotted an Irishman
sitting off in the corner. To have a little fun, one of them approached him.
"Did y'know that St. Patrick was a sissy?"
"Oh, no, I dinnae know that. Thank ye."
The man returned to his friends, complaining that it hadn't worked. The second
decided to try.
"Did y'know that St. Patrick was a transvestite?"
"Oh, no, I dinnae know that. Thank ye."
The second man returned to his friends, amazed that it hadn't worked. The
third man knew he had the solution.
"Did y'know that St. Patrick was an Englishman?"
"Oh, no. But that's what y'r friends hae been trying to tell me."
Getting Down Under
An American woman of 40 wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry
a man who has never been with a woman sexually.


After several unsuccessful years of searching, she decides to take out a
personal ad.


She ends up corresponding with a man who has lived his entire life in the
Australian Outback. And after a long-distance courtship, they decide to get
married.


On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to prepare for the
festivities. When she returns to the bedroom, she finds her new husband standing
in the middle of the room, naked and all the furniture from the room piled in
one corner.


�What happened?� she asks.


�I've never been with a woman,� he says. �But if it's anything like screwing a
kangaroo I'm gonna need all the room I can get!�