Fun Things to Do to Telemarketers

* Turn on the TV. Change the channel to one that only gets
static. Turn the volume up really loud. Say that you can't hear
them over the static.


* Make up your own language. Speak it.


* Say, "This phone line is for emergency use only. Do you have
an emergency?"


* Order a large pepperoni pizza, some garlic bread, and a
meatball sub.


* Dial the phone and say, "Hey! I lent you 50 bucks. You better
pay up or else I'm gonna come over there and hurt you! "


* Repeatedly dial the phone. Mutter that it isn't ringing.


* Say, "Moe's tavern Moe speaking."


* Ask him/her if he/she would like a magazine or newspaper
subscription.


* Communicate only through Morse code.


* Try to sell the telemarketer something.


* Ask him/her if he/she can smell bacon. Insist that there is a
strong scent of bacon over the phone.


* Pretend to be an escaped mental patient. Mutter things like,
"They'll never catch me again," "No! Not the jacket! No, no,
no!" After saying one of these mutter incoherently.


* Make him/her dance for a sale. Claim that you won't buy
because you couldn't see him/her dance.


* Make him/her sing to get a sale.


* Pretend to be really interested. Then say, "No."


* Engage him/her in an "intellectual" conversation on an
extremely boring subject.


* Say nothing until he/she hangs up.


* Say, "I told you. I don't know where your dog is!" Then hang
up.


* After he/she hangs up, use *69 or Caller ID to get the phone
number. Call the telemarketer.


* Ask the telemarketer for his/her home phone number. Claim that
you need some time to think, and that you'll get back to them.