First "Contact"

In the years that followed first contact between humanity and an alien race, individuals from both species took steps to integrate their two cultures. At one of several social conventions held to further this goal, a human couple and an alien couple meet and discuss their common traits.

"I hope this isn't offensive," the human woman begins, "but I'm incredibly curious: How does your species have sex?"

Both the male and the female alien chuckle. "Well," the male alien replies, "we're pretty similar to you, actually! In fact... if you two were interested, maybe we could swap spouses for the evening and 'experience' each other."

The four of them discuss it, and they decide to give the experiment a try. The human man goes home with the female alien, and the human woman goes back to her hotel room with the male alien.

Upon arrival, the human woman and the male alien disrobe... and with some dismay, the woman sees that her companion has an incredibly small penis.

"I don't think this is going to work," she says. "It's just too tiny."

The male alien grins. "That's no problem!" He smacks himself in the forehead a few times... and with each blow, his member extends by several centimeters.

"Wow!" the woman replies. "Only, now it's far too thin."

Once again, the male alien offers a smile. This time, he pulls on his ears, and his shaft swells in circumference with each tug. Thoroughly impressed, the woman leaps onto the male alien, and the two of them spend the night in ecstasy.

The next morning, the human woman joins her husband for breakfast.

"So," he asks, "how was it for you?"

"I'm not going to lie," the woman responds, "it was pretty amazing. How was it for you?"

The man seems to wince at the memory. "Honestly, it was pretty bad. All she did was hit my head and yank on my ears all night."