FDA

the fda is considering additional warnings on beer and alcohol bottles, such
as:


13. warning: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering
when you are not.


12. warning: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an
a******.


11. warning: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same
boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your head in.


10. warning: consumption of alcohol may cause you to they sings like thish.


9. warning: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are
really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.


8. warning: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your pants.


7. warning: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning
and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).


6. warning: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug
burns on the forehead.


5. warning: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, handsomer, and smarter than some really, really big guy named chuck.


4. warning: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.


3. warning: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing
with you.


2. warning: consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space
continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to
disappear.


1. warning: consumption of alcohol may actually cause pregnancy.