Farmer John had the prettiest wife in town--we're talking a real dish

--and every many in town wanted her. Sam Spoon wanted her the most, and he had a plan to get her. Every day Farmer John would drive his truck to the base of his pasture to feed his prize cow, Bessie. Farmer John'd throw hay over the fence and ring a big cowbell, and when she heard it, Bessie'd come rumbling down the steep hill to eat. So, one day, Sam used a piece of rope to tie Bessie to a tree at the hill's top. When Farmer John rang the bell that day, Bessie didn't come, so Farmer John climbed the hill to see what was holding her up. When he arrived, he saw Bessie tied up. Confused, he undid the rope...and then, in the distance, he heard the cowbell. Before Farmer John could drop the rope, Bessie started sprinting towards the sound. The rope tangled around her feet, and she tripped and rolled down the hill, dragging Farmer John with her--tearing out the seat of his pants in the process. When they finally came to a stop, Farmer John's face was down in the dirt, and his bare rear end was pointed straight up in the air. Sam Spoon dropped the cowbell and started laughing, throwing his arm around the waist of Farmer John's wife. Farmer John was between Bessie and her meal, so the cow jumped over his moon. And his dish? She ran away with Spoon.