Englishman, Frenchman and New Yorker Meet The Cannibals

Oldie but goodie

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a New Yorker are out exploring, and they're captured by cannibals. The king of the cannibals says "We're going to eat you now, because we're cannibals and that's what we do. But we're not savages like we used to be, so we're not going to torture you for three days first...in fact, you can kill yourselves any way you like, we don't care."

The explorers all look rather crestfallen at this news, and the chief hastens to reassure them: "Oh, I know what you're thinking, we've seen it before---you're thinking your life has been a waste, you're going to die out here for nothing, and so on. Well, let me assure you, that just isn't true. We'll use your skin to make our excellent canoes, your hair to make twine, and we'll eat every edible part of you. So really, it's not a waste at all. Now, please get on with it."

The Frenchman chooses a rope and says "vive la france", and then hangs himself from a tree.

The Englishman chooses a gun, says "God save the Queen", and shoots himself in the head.

The New Yorker chhoses "death by fork". The King and the tribe think it an odd request but grant it and give him a fork. The guy from NY starts stabbing himself, all over his own body, it looks torturous and even the cannibals are stunned...finally the king of the cannibals says "My god, what are you doing??!!"

And the New Yorker stabs himself with the fork again and says..."So much for your canoe, pal."