English man, French, American and a Russian are captured by hungry cannibals

English man, French, American and a Russian are captured by hungry cannibals. The chief comes out and speaks to the men, "We are cannibals so we will eat you all. But we are also humane cannibals so we will grant you one wish before we eat you."

English man is first, "I would like to have a nice, warm bowl of oatmeal and the finest Indian tea before I die"
Cannibals proved to be very resourceful and served English man's last meal in timely fashion. And then they ate him.

French guy is next, "Before I die I would like to spend a night with a beautiful French virgin."
Again the resourceful cannibals found a girl for the French man in a timely manner. Couple spent a passionate night together and the next morning cannibals ate the French man.

Russian guy is next, "I would like for your biggest cannibal to kick me in the ass as hard as he can." The cannibals are shocked and intrigued, but last wish is important. A huge rock-like cannibal steps out from the crowd, comes up to the Russian and kicks him with all his might. Russian flies up into the air, pulls out an AK from his ass and shoots the whole cannibal tribe.

Russian firmly lands on his feet next to American with blood of cannibal children splatted on his boots. American looks at him in disbelieve and asks, "Why didn't you do this earlier; we could've saved English and French men."

"We, Russians are lazy people. We don't do anything unless someone kicks us in the ass."